Dear Goldie
My Wife often accuses me of being stingy.
“You’re just like your Father” she says.
I actually agree that I do have his character trait. I dont like it but Im born like that. Is there anything I can do?
Unhappy
Dear Unhappy,
Recently, while having lunch with my daughter and family, Tek (my husband) shared a story about a rich and influential mandarin who lost his wealth and position and had to beg in the streets. Surprisingly, many people whom he did not even know came and offered help. He asked,
“Why are you helping me?”
They replied, “When you were a rich mandarin you helped us when we were in trouble.”
“When did I do that?”
“Your administrator told us he was acting for you.”
We then discussed how important it was to be generous because one day, we would be able to draw on the goodwill sown.
As we continued talking, I realised that I was often reluctant to go out of my way to help people. Just that morning, Tek had asked me to help someone who had written a testimony to publish it in a booklet for her. I had no time to edit or publish it, and got irritated with Tek for piling work on me which I felt was not my job.
“Don’t be angry,” he explained. “I want to garner goodwill for you. The writer will be grateful that you are going out of your way to help her.” I continued to blame him, “Yes, but the way you said it made me feel pressured.”
Our 15-year-old grandson joined in, “But PauPau, you must not let his way of saying things put you off. You should consider his content, not his presentation.” Our daughter pointed out, “Mom, you are a task person and focus only on the work whereas Dad is a people person and focuses on relationships. So actually, you complement each other and should work together and take each other’s suggestions.”
Tek asked, “Do you know where you got your unwillingness to help? From your father. He was a reluctant helper.” There were nods from everyone. I admitted, “Yes, I recognise his trait in me.” Our daughter also admitted, “Whenever I’m asked to do anything, my first reaction is to say no. But usually after I’ve thought about it, I find I can do it.”
Our 16-year-old grandson unexpectedly joined in, “I’m like that too.” We all confirmed that Grandfather’s character trait had come down to the fourth generation.
Tek took up the authority as the head of the family and said, “There is no better time than now to get rid of this trait from our family.” So, around the dining table, I took the lead in acknowledging that I wanted to change, that I wanted God to help me, that it was not by power or might that this would be done but by His Holy Spirit.
Our daughter and her son followed with their confessions and requests for change. Then Tek, using the powerful Name of Jesus as a spiritual weapon, cut off the generational trait. The result was obvious immediately. Paying the lunch bill I gave the waiter a big tip, something alien to my nature. My daughter also reported that her son had willingly done some chores for his father without grumbling. We believe what was performed in the spiritual realm was accomplished in the physical and we have been set free.
In the same way, you can be set free from unwanted family traits by using divine weapons. 
Do you have an issue you need advice on? Write to Dear Goldie at goldie@deargoldie.com for her godly counsel. Selected questions may be featured in this column. If you leave an email address, you will have your question answered, whether it’s published or not.
