First Boy: A little bird told me what kind of lawyer your father is.
Second Boy: What did he say?
First Boy: Cheep, cheep, cheep.
Second Boy: O yeah. A duck just told me what your doctor father is…Quack, quack, quack.
THE STROKE
“It’s happened,” yelled the bishop in anguish as he was playing bridge with charming friends.
“What’s happened?” asked the young lady seated next to him.
“A stroke, a stroke. My left side is paralysed.”
“Are you sure?” queried the young lady.
“Yes, yes” groaned the bishop. “I’ve been pinching my left leg for the past few minutes and I feel no sensation at all.”
“Relax,” said the young lady, “That was my leg you were pinching.”
THE BAPTISM
Before conducting a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said, “Baptism is a serious business. Are you prepared for it?”
“I think so.” The man replied.
“My wife has made the appetizers and we have hired caterers to provide the finger food.”
“I don’t mean that” the priest retorted.
“I mean, are you prepared spiritually?”
“Definitely” came the reply. “I’ve got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey.”
