Dear Goldie,
I am devastated. I have been serving as a volunteer in this committee for umpteen years, and suddenly they voted me out. I was the chairman, and now I am not even on the committee. The takeover was pre-planned and deliberate, and I don’t understand their motive for it. I feel they want a younger, newer blood, but their method is hurtful. What should I do about myself and about them?
Struggling
Dear Struggling,
I believe they have their reasons for removing you. Maybe they have their own vision, maybe they have outgrown you or maybe they don’t want to go where you are going.
You may or may not agree with them, but you have to deal with your own emotions and mindset.
Don’t allow changing times to change who you are or make you stop doing the things you used to do or give up hope for better things. When Naomi (in the Book of Ruth) was bereft of family and her future looked bleak, God’s plan was for her to mentor her daughter-in-law Ruth, who would give birth to a son destined to become the ancestor of King David and Jesus Christ. When your role changes, your life is not over.
When Naomi’s sons died, she asked people to call her “Mara”, meaning bitterness”. Avoid this kind of mentality. Don’t be depressed and discouraged at your present circumstances.
Know your own worth; ask God for your next assignment, and move on.
» Nathaniel Hawthorne was fired from his job, he was devastated. But his wife told him, “Now you can start that book you’ve always wanted to write.” The result was The Scarlet Letter.
» James Whistler failed at West Point and also in business. A friend encouraged him to try painting. And he became the world famous painter, Whistler.
» Picasso produced some of his greatest works at 90. Rubinstein gave one of his greatest piano recitals at 89.
» Moses was 120 years old when he died, and his eye was not dim nor his natural force abated.
» Noah built the ark when he was 500.
“It ain’t over till God says it’s over, and if He ain’t said so, it’s not.” Live every moment to its fullest. When someone told the 89-year-old poet Dorothy Duncan that she had lived a full life, she replied sharply, “Don’t past tense me!” You can “still bear fruit in old age” Psalm 92:14.
Dealing with “them”:
Don’t let anyone control how you feel or think. Protect your own sanity by forgiving them. Don’t even think evil of them for then it will be like you taking poison and hoping they would die. Sow mercy in your thoughts, words and deeds – you will reap a hundred times, and you will be happier showing grace than if you were angry, critical or revengeful.
Give them a chance to explain themselves.
This may take time as they may not realise their mistakes or how to verbalise apologies. In the transition, they don’t need a critic; they need constructive cooperation. Put up with their weaknesses like Jesus did to Peter because he knew what Peter would become one day. He must have forgiven Peter seventy times seven! Ask God for patience and tolerance to have the right attitude. If you still love the organisation, continue to contribute to the best of your ability and circumstance. If not, move on to where God leads you.
Goldie
Do you have an issue you need advice on? Write to Dear Goldie at goldie@deargoldie.com for her godly counsel. Selected questions may be featured in this column. If you leave an email address, you will have your question answered, whether it’s published or not.
