All the hopeful plans that I had made over the last few years began to fall apart
By Veronica Wee
It’s fairly common knowledge among my family and friends that it’s been my childhood dream to be a doctor. I wanted to help people and I loved science. I knew I couldn’t be a teacher because when I tried to teach my brother to use the dictionary, I almost ended up throwing it at him instead.
Last year, I applied to four medical schools in the United Kingdom. By the middle of March, I had been rejected by them all. Applications to other countries fell through as well. All the hopeful plans that I had made over the last few years began to fall apart. A week later, I graduated from high school. Though frustrated and confused, I was inexplicably also a little excited – and this excitement has only grown.
I’m excited because anything can happen now. My one-track mind has been focused on medicine for almost 10 years. And though I’m disappointed, sad, rather embarrassed, and very scared, for the first time in a decade, I am free to consider other options.
And, yes, it’s terrifying as well. For every possibility of something wonderful happening, there is the equal possibility of something horrible happening. For every chance I have of success, there is the equal chance of crushing failure. Anything could happen. You don’t know – that’s how the future works. You can plan and dream and worry all you want. Life will still manage to surprise you.
Yet, I can be a little more excited than terrified – because of God. My hope is in God, not just because I was born and raised in a Christian family or because I am a missionary kid. Rather, it is because I have discovered through serious search that there is nothing else I can depend on to face life’s surprises. Nothing, except God.
Veronica (left) with mother and brothers
I know this because I was in a similar position when our family moved to Japan. Before that, I’d lived in Singapore for 14 years; everything I knew and loved was there. And I went from having all these things that I could depend on – friends, school, etc. – to being alone with my parents and brothers, in a country where I could not speak the language.
When we came, we didn’t even have a visa or a house.
We lived out of the suitcase in a youth hostel for almost four months, not knowing what was going to happen.
I remember how excited and scared I was about the future. But I now know for a fact that the only thing that won’t change in my life is God.
There’s this big seashell with a Bible verse on my desk that a close friend had the incredible foresight to give me. It has Jeremiah 29:11 on it: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.’” This is especially precious to me in the face of uncertainty, but I think it applies to all of us.
Here is another fact: God has good plans for us. These are in His control. We can be excited and hopeful about the future, because our good and loving God has plans to “prosper [us] and not to harm [us]”.
My father asked me recently if I regretted coming to Japan and I said “no”. It was difficult and lonely at times, but much good has come out of these last four years. In hindsight, I can see the amazing plan that God had for us all along.
“Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:30-31)
My hope is in the Lord, not myself nor my abilities nor anything else. I can face the uncertainties in my life bravely because when you have God on your side, who can be against you?
Veronica Wee is a 17-year old missionary kid serving with her family in Kyoto. She tries to be a good daughter, big sister, friend and light for God.
This article is printed with permission from Asian Beacon. Originally published in June-July 2015 vol.47 No.3 (www,asianbeacon.com)
